When coaching leaders aiming to make a real impact, I often suggest they try a simple yet transformative approach: embodying an “avatar” to practice new leadership qualities. This technique allows leaders to explore new facets of themselves, tapping into strengths and traits they may have avoided or not yet developed. It’s about becoming a fuller version of oneself—not just acting differently.
Avatar Practice: Opening the Door to New Perspectives
Rather than simply saying, “I need to be more open, more graceful, more assertive, or more discerning,” avatars prompt reflective questions like, “What would Nelson Mandela do in this situation?” or “How would Queen Elizabeth II respond?” or “What might Steve Jobs be thinking about this?” or “How would Yoda handle this challenge?” The avatar becomes a guide, helping leaders activate traits they might struggle to access on their own. By channeling the qualities of admired figures, leaders can practice aligning with deeper values and see themselves from a new angle.
The Power of Story: When Amanda Became Mrs. Doubtfire
In 2016, I facilitated coaching skills training for healthcare leaders in Austin, Texas. Our group—therapists, clinicians, physicians, and site managers—shared a common goal: to elevate patient engagement by deepening empathy, warmth, and authentic connection. We introduced the avatar practice to help them bring these qualities forward, even in high-stress, real-world situations.
On the second day, Amanda, a skilled leader known for her clinical precision, volunteered to coach in front of the group. Her approach was exacting and probing—qualities that were effective in her field but created distance in this setting. Observers could feel the tension; her questions felt more like an interrogation than an invitation. Then Joan, a site manager, surprised everyone with a playful suggestion: “Try being Mrs. Doubtfire!”
Amanda looked taken aback, even embarrassed, and the room held its breath as she processed the idea. Sensing her hesitation, I offered gently, “You don’t need to lose yourself or your strength. Just let Mrs. Doubtfire’s spirit guide you—coach from that place.”
With the group’s encouragement, Amanda took a deep breath and imagined how Mrs. Doubtfire—a character known for warmth and humor—might approach this moment. The transformation was remarkable. Her posture softened, her tone lightened, and her questions became genuine invitations rather than challenges. Her coachee responded openly, and everyone in the room felt the shift. It was as if a warmer, more present version of Amanda had surfaced, creating a connection effortlessly.
The reactions from her colleagues were immediate and heartfelt. “Where did the old Amanda go?” they asked, visibly moved. At that moment, Amanda accessed qualities within herself hidden beneath her clinical armor. She realized she could embody this newfound warmth without losing her strength—she could expand her potential by integrating both.
This is the essence of avatar practice. It’s not about discarding who you are but about connecting with dimensions of yourself that may feel unfamiliar yet profoundly authentic. Mrs. Doubtfire was a doorway to a more expansive, impactful version of her identity for Amanda.
Aligning Avatar Practice with Identity Growth
Avatar work is about unlocking untapped potential, not adopting an artificial identity. It’s a practice of intentional identity expansion, a core component of The Impact Field Leadership model. Leaders engage in a profound identity shift by choosing avatars that reflect their values or cultural alignment, opening the door to sustained impact.
Applications of Avatar Practice
Avatar practice has broad applications in leadership:
- High-stakes presentations or Negotiations: Channel avatars like Steve Jobs or Nelson Mandel to exude calm confidence and presence.
- Navigating Difficult Conversations: Empathetic avatars like Ruth Bader Ginsburg or Oprah Winfrey can help you stay compassionate and focused during tough conversations.
- Sparking Creativity: For brainstorming sessions, avatars like Einstein encourage critical thinking and innovation.
- Building Team Cohesion: Draw from leaders like Malala Yousafzai or Martin Luther King Jr. to foster an inclusive, motivational environment.
- Facing New Challenges: In times of self-doubt, avatars like Winston Churchill or Wonder Woman bring resilience and courage to face the unknown.
These avatars are only suggestions; leaders should choose figures that resonate with their unique values and goals. For leaders open to self-exploration, an avatar that stretches their identity is a way to engage in adaptive, meaningful growth.
Flexing Identity with Authenticity
Leaders may need to maintain their sense of authenticity. Avatar practice is not about faking new qualities but about connecting with strengths that may lie hidden beneath the surface. Leaders can practice avatars in private or low-stakes settings to ease any discomfort. Over time, they’ll realize these qualities feel natural and aligned with their core.
Playbook for Avatar Practice
- Choose an Avatar and a Quality: Each day, focus on a quality you’d like to expand, such as courage or inclusivity, and pick an avatar that embodies it.
- Immerse Yourself in the Avatar: Study your avatar’s qualities and motivations, bringing depth to your practice.
- Visualize and Set Intentions: Picture yourself embodying this avatar’s traits and intending to let these qualities guide your actions.
- Step into the Avatar in Real Time: When quality is needed, ask yourself, “What would [Avatar] do now?”
- Reflect and Journal: At the end of each day, note insights and any identity shifts you experienced. Journaling helps solidify growth over time.
The Wisdom Key
Leadership transformation begins within, where identity shapes outward influence. The avatar practice helps leaders access qualities they didn’t realize they held, bringing new strength and flexibility to their identity. This journey is about creating a leadership identity that resonates deeply and authentically, empowering leaders to make a real impact.
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” —Carl Jung
Through the avatar practice, leaders can explore and expand who they are, fostering growth that benefits themselves and those around them.
Questions? Let’s Connect Now.